Of highlands and heartlines - Dixon Pass to Mount Douglas

Another clear and sunny morning
The goal is starting to become a reality with Mt Vic summit only 3 days away.

Ridge tops exposed to the elements with evidence of rain and wind damage. 
Lots of clambering over fallen trees. Still very undulating. Damp, mossy forest. 
Even Zac had a few slips today. 
Slow going in the morning due to more track clearing than anticipated. 

Happy to plod along and be alone with my thoughts. 
We may have been a party of three trekkers, and eleven porters, but I was happy to be at the back of the group. 
I listened to the chatty conversations of Ian and Zac, both well-travelled and well-read, they connected well and it was interesting to listen to their stories, not feeling like I had to contribute all the time

An unexpected sight today. We encountered masses of wild strawberries, the brambles snagging our trousers and traces of pink-coloured cassowary droppings along the trail, the birds obviously feasting on the abundant crop.

Blazes on the trees - trail markers

Strawberry fields forever

Lovely lunch spot found by a flowing creek. 
According to Zac, much more water around this year compared to last year. 
June apparently being in the middle of the "dry season" in PNG, not so this year.

Andy with a new hairstyle - the jungle mullet!

After a short afternoon walk, we set up camp on the northern flank of Mt Douglas. The boys were reluctant to carry water from lunch onwards. 
Discussions between Zac and the local leaders about trekking expectations ensued and again porters and packs required re-organisation due to uneven load distribution. 

A short walk meant being able to rest during the afternoon - still feeling fatigued. 

We were sheltered from strong winds which roared above us through the tree-top canopy. 
The weather took a turn for the worse, with distant rumbles of thunder and flashes of lightning accompanying more rain. 

I retired to the tent, acknowledging my fatigue. not seeing it as a burden or a hindrance, but accepting it as a chance to be alone. 
I retreated into my thoughts 

I may be energised by company, but I am also nourished by solitude. 
The landscape lent itself to reflection - isolation, remoteness, undisturbed, unspoiled wilderness
Silences measured by footsteps on the leaf litter, the dung-laden bogs, the grassy plains, the muddy earth. 

The rhythm of walking - hours passing seemingly without any thoughts. 
The simplicity of walking - of putting one foot down, and then putting the other foot down. 
Again and again, day in and day out. 

I didn't have tired feet from walking, but I had a tired heart.

I seem to forge connections easily. I work in a collaborative team, and appear extroverted, but those who are closest to me know that I have a public facade, the smile is sometimes a mask. 
And unbeknownst to Zac and Ian, my defences were down. 
The walls I had built to protect myself had fallen down and were crumbling around me, right down to my foundations.

I was broken.

I was desperately trying to fix myself, but it wasn't going to plan. 
I couldn't find the missing parts, didn't have the right tools. 
Was I repairable or should I just be written off?

It's like I'm a jigsaw puzzle that can't be put back together because some of the pieces are lost or missing

I know that I have changed, that I am not the same person. 
The glass is not half-full anymore, it's not even half-empty. 
There's almost nothing left, save for the dregs at the bottom.

Oh, the ache to be better. 



Just keep going, one foot in front of the other......